update via texting convo

claire and i have been living the dream lately.
if you don't believe me then please observe the following conversation:
"whats up claire? how is georgia?"
"well its good. we watched mulan and went on a walk. thats a party at my house. so yeah, umm georgia is good. how is jeff?"
       side note: claire has always had such a way with words
"Claire doggg i've stayed in so many random houses the past couple days and met like 3 trillion old people who are in some random way related to jeff. I'm kinda over it"
         side note: they usually forget my name even after i've corrected them multiple times. i feel like they are applying shampoo directions when saying my name. (lather [call me wrong name], rinse [i correct them, they apologize], repeat [...and again 10 seconds later])
"haha funny!...I hung out with an old man at church today. he seemed alright"
         side note: man action for claire- SCORE.
"i feel forced to plaster on a smile as i say 'I'm from colorado..yeah its great.' or 'communication disorders...ya its fun' or 'yeah i like to sing...its great'. it gets so old i HATE SMALL TALK. also right now i am sitting in some random office in a house of people i've never met while jeff is socializing with his cousins in the kitchen. this is right up there with hanging out with old men." 
             side note: this house had a canary bird right outside my door. those things should be recorded and used as a ringtone to wake up and annoy every single person in america.
"haha that sucks for you i avoided people at church so i wouldn't have to do that sort of thing. Small talk makes me feel like I'm being suffocated by a plastic bag."




anyways, as you can tell- our lives are just so exciting right now.
you are all probably jealous.
so i went out of way to tell you all what is going on
so you can live vicariously through us
cuz who wouldn't want to small talk with old people?

Airports and Time Travel

I pity the fool that has to sit next to me on the airplane tonight.  I went on a 3 mile run beforehand.  Did I shower afterwards?  Nope.  No time.  Packing?  No. Watching tv?  Nailed it.  I’m looking and smelling pretty fresh right about now.  Also, I’m going pass out as I am done shoving my oversized carry-on into the overhead bin compartment. And I’m a drooler.  And I’m in the middle.  So chances are I’m probs going to drool all over some stranger’s shoulder.  No big.  

So I am sitting in the airport about to start my summer full of adventures. Airports are an interesting place.  They change me.  They cause a stirring somewhere deep within me and put me into what I can only label as “Airport Mode.”  Creative, I know.  Is airport mode a good thing?  If you are a traveler who means business much like myself, yes, it is.  I will not get in your way.  I will not slow you down.  I will not burden you by stopping you and asking you to point me to my gate.  I will not hold you up at the security checkpoint.  I will have my laptop, shoes, and jacket in a container waiting to be scanned through security.  I will not pitch a fit about my rights being violated when I am selected to go through the naked scanner.  I welcome it.  But I do find it odd that I am picked every time.  Coincidence?  I think not.  I will not get on the moving sidewalks and stand there like a pin head.  I will take advantage of those things to quadruple my walking speed.  On the other hand, if you are a small child, an elderly person, a leisurely traveler, or anyone else who gets in my way, Airplane Mode may very well be a terrible thing.  Maybe even dangerous. I am generally a very laid back, agreeable person, but something about airports change me.  I get in this mindset. Pure business.  Move it or lose it folks.

Another thing about airports is that I have the worst luck traveling.  My latest flying adventure involved a terrible suitcase mix-up in which I ended up with the suitcase of a middle-aged man.  The one before that involved me running across two terminals in the O’Hare airport to catch a plane that was waiting to take off because of me.  Did I have a suitcase with defective wheels? Of course.  Was I sick? Naturally.  Did I have an asthma attack? Definitely.  So I’m trying to make a mad dash and I’m huffing and puffing because my lungs are all congested from being sick.  (Without fail, I always get sick after finals week and spend the first couple of days at home out of commission.)  So I have to dig my inhaler out of my backpack.  As I look up from digging around in my bag I see one of those glorified golf carts that they use to tote around old people.  It was empty.  The keys were in it.  Holy heaven send.  I stood there staring at it for a second and as I started to walk towards it I got this terrible flash in my head of my mug shot on The Today Show and Al Roker detailing the story of how a college student ran down a family of five in the Chicago airport in her desperation to get home for Christmas.  I thought that would probably reflect poorly on me, so I used my better judgment and made like a banana and split.  I make it to the gate and there is this woman standing there and asks if I’m Nicole Hamilton.  You know you’re in trouble if the gate agent knows you by name.  Then I get on the plane and I’m the very last row, so I get to walk past every single person on that plane as they glare at me.  Lay off the Hatorade folks. I have never felt so hated in my life.  Except that one time I told a Mexican joke very audibly in a Mexican restaurant.  And this time before that, I was flying with my dog, and he escaped from his cage because he is some kind of crazy escape artist.  For reals.  I called him Houdini.  So I have to run and chase him down and the airport workers are all mad at me and give me a lecture something along the lines of “Ma’am, your dog is crazy as hell, keep your animal under control.”  So I can’t wait to see what tonight’s flying adventures hold.  It’s a redeye flight so I am sure I will not be let down.  Bring it. 

As a side note, if you don’t fly redeye flights you don’t know how to travel.  Redeyes are the greatest invention ever.  You hop on the plane, pass out, wake up, bam you’re there.  Seriously, I fly redeyes every time.  I get on the plane, pass out before the plane even takes off, and don’t wake up until the kind soul next to me gently nudges me awake after we’ve landed.  It’s as close to time travel as you will ever get.  Also, heaven forbid, but in the event that my plane is hijacked or the plane malfunctions and crashes, I will be blissfully unaware.  I'll sleep through it all.  I always have wanted to die in my sleep.  Redeye flights make dreams come true.  They are truly one of society’s most undervalued assets.  

Fox Hall, Friendship, and Farewells

Ladies and gentlemen.  Actually, just ladies.  Specifically my girls Kylie, Brianne, Aubs, Jess, Amy, Claire, Becca, and Kerri.  Welcome to our blog.  A blog?  Yes, a blog.  Bloggity, blog, blog.  You may be wondering, Nicki, a blog?  Has Hell frozen over?! No, it has not. Still as hot as ever.  The fire and brimstone have indeed not turned into glaciers.  Now that the status of Hell has been cleared up, let me explain myself.  No, I am not going all domestic and mommy status on yall.  I have always been a bit of a blog hater, considering them to be just another platform for moms to brag about their kids, recipes, domestic junk, and other stuff no one cares about.  But I am here to tell you blogs can be cool.  More specifically, this blog is cool.  This is going to be our means of keeping up with each other this summer.  The occasional FB status will not suffice.  Not for this gang.  We roll deep.  So this is where the blog comes in.  Yall come on here, give us the dirty deets of your life: shenanigans, run-ins with the law,  hospital visits, hood rat stuff you do with your friends, etc.  You know, the usual.  With everyone going their separate ways this summer- Idaho, Washington, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Florida, Georgia, Ohio, Africa, and Aubs holding the fort down here in Provo, I am confident there will be many adventures that will need reporting.  Don’t fail me.

Yall hold a special place in my heart.  The part right next to my dog and Nacho.  WBD.  Way big deal.  We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, we’ve laughed until we cried, we’ve laughed until we’ve peed ourselves, we’ve laughed until we justified our laughing as an abs workout and skipped going to the gym.  Words can’t describe how grateful I am that God smiled upon us that fateful day when we made our room selections freshman year.  Our lives would not be the same if we hadn’t ended up in the basement of Fox Hall together.  That’s the cold, hard truth.  And you, my friends, can take that to the bank.

I am going to miss yall something fierce this summer and I will count down the days until we are back all back in the Promised Land together.  In the meantime, yall have a great summer. 

Brianne and Kerri- have fun getting married and playing with the adorable little black orphans in Africa.   Do your best not to get some kind of parasite or a worm or some other disease that is running rampant in the village.  Don’t drink the water.  Unless it is labeled Aquafina or Dasani.  Also, don’t forget to get me some kind of souvenir.  Preferably one of the orphans.  I’d like that a lot.  I would even go so far as to say I would be eternally grateful to you if you brought me back one of the ninos. 

Becca- live it up in Africa as well.  Give the ninos some mclovin’ from me.  Learn a tribal dance that you can teach me when we get back.  Have fun getting engaged to Ben.  Come on, we all know it’s going to happen.

Kylie- have fun teaching the rugrats dance.  Show them our Ke$ha music video for some real dance moves.  Find a cat and give it all your love.  That’s what Loola Mae would want.  Join my petition to Kraft for them to bring back the birthday cake Oreo’s.  And don’t forget the advice of our beloved Skydancers “D the d!” and “I can make it happen, if I really try.  I can fly.  I can soar, I’ve got wings, I can do anything.” 

Jess- tell the town of Carey hello for me.  And Mama Shawna, and the rest of the Parke family.  Eat lots of potatoes, keep the grounds at the school looking spiffy, go rebuild the jump and get some air under those tires, and shoot a rock chuck or two. Or three.  Or four.  Try not to start anymore kitchen fires.  Even though I know you won’t because I won’t be there to spill hamburger grease into the burners.  And most importantly, keep a look-out for Chipmunk Cheeks.  You never know when he’s gonna pop up. 

Aubs- hold the fort down here in Provo.  Make sure the gym-goers are clean shaven and worthy Honor Code abiders.  Keep living the life of an 80-year-old woman- nine o’clock bed time, watching movies with subtitles.  Throw away all your clip-on earrings.  You are a real woman now.  Pay the Provo library your weekly visit and try to convince everyone you come into contact with that Avatar: The Last Airbender is cool. 

Claire- enjoy the humidity of Florida.  Work hard, made that paper.  Dollar, dollar bill, yeah.  Visit some old folks homes.  There are lots down there.  Keep being a baller.  Join me on my excursion to Harry Potter World, and pay me a visit in ATL.  We’ll paint the town.

Amy- rock that visitor’s center in Kirtland.  Send us letters telling us about all the dudes that mack on you despite the fact that you are on a mission.  Simply irresistible.  And don’t worry.  I’ll be paying you a visit in August.  At long last you will meet the Hamilton herd.  It will be a blessed occasion. 

As for me, I’ll be up to the same ole, same ole.  Quoting Nacho, eating refried beans, drawing the infamous Garfield pictures (and maybe one or two of Tony the Tiger), writing poetry, immersing myself in the Bollywood culture, wreaking havoc on society, and adding the prefixes- mc- and sch- to words like it’s nobody’s business.  Schwat?!  Schyou schnow schit.  Schwoopies.  SchI schjust schsaid schit.  I’ll be visiting the family up in Ohio, loving on my dog hardcore, making my way down to northern Mexico (San Diego), dropping in on my North Carolina folk, and living it up in ATL with my black men.  And most importantly, I’ll be keeping it classy as always.

Yall have a great summer.  Go crazy.  Do what you feel.  Make a bucket list.  This is the time to live it up.  Do things you’ve always wanted to do.  Don’t let money or fear hold you back.  Remember, they will always make more money and pain hurts, but only for a minute.  Life is short so go on and live it.  The only restriction is don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.  But let’s get real.  That’s not much of a restriction.  You know my only stipulation is to keep it classy.  Take it easy, ladies.  Peace and blessings.