1. Jack Black. Let's get real. Jack Black is a god. He can act, he can sing, he is hilarious, he is attractive in an "I would marry him in a second because he would make me laugh so much I would have the abs of Denise Austin" kind of way. And he stars in the greatest movie ever made. God bless Nickelodeon for producing that treasure. Honestly, Nacho Libre is a HUGE part of my life. Some might even argue that it is my life. *See below pie chart.
2. Fiber. Fiber is the greatest nutrient (vitamin?) to grace this earth. I don't know what it is classified as. I don't bother with such trivial details. I just eat it. Fiber is awesome because 1) It fills you up so fast. I can hammer 3 bowls of most cereals, but try doing that with Grape Nuts. Ain't gonna happen. 2) It keeps you full for a long time. I don't know about yall but eating has become a burden. Poor word choice. Eating is NEVER a burden. The process of preparing to eat is a burden. Another poor word choice. I am always prepared to eat. The process of preparing/procuring food to eat is a burden. You have to decide what to eat. And then Momma isn't around to fix it for you, so you have to fix it and then it sucks and then you just end up eating Chef Boyardee and that atomic orange sauce coats your cheap plastic bowls for which your ghetto dishwasher and Great Value dishwasher detergent are no match, and then you have stained Chef Boyardee bowls. Not classy. 3) Fiber is funny. I don't know why but I think it is so funny. I got these tortillas at Winco the other day that have 12 grams in one tortilla. If I made a quesadilla that makes a grand total of 24 grams. And that's not even including the refried beans. WOWZERS. I know people are afraid of fiber because they think it will make them poop all the time. Don't be afraid. Your digestive system will adjust, and it will love you.
3. Leashables. I was introduced to leashables back in the 3rd grade thanks to my dear friends the Rindlisbachs and the game called "If Dean Catches You Without Chapstick on Hand You Owe Him a Dollar." Dean would always say "Nicki, Nicki Tembo, some boy is going to want to kiss you one day and you don't want sand paper lips." Third grade Nicki was totes grossed out by this as is present day Nicki. Nonetheless, I was an active participant in this game/ training regiment because my piggy bank couldn't afford not to be. Like any good coach Dean equipped us the necessary equipment in order to train successfully, and I became the proud owner of a Leashable. I wore that thing everywhere. Clipped it to the belt loop on my pants and rocked the softest lips Edinbrook Elementary will ever see. That Leashable is packed in a box somewhere in my basement but finding it is number one on my agenda of things to get done when I go home for Christmas. Then I'll be fit to get all makey outey with these upperclassmen and meet a Mr. Hotbod Handsome face. (If you didn't catch the Teen Girl Squad reference you are undervaluing another one of society's greatest assets).
4. Country music. Whenever someone says something extremely ignorant and whoreish like "I like all music except for country" or "Country music sucks, you sing about tractors being sexy." Number one, obviously they have never seen the John Deere 5E Series tractors. If those don't do it for you, I don't know what will. Number two, they are a lost soul, or cow, if you will, that needs to be herded into greener pastures. I used to be one of those people, but I have since repented. If you are reading this and you are one of those people, this is your intervention. It's time for a change, and not the Obama kind, the good kind. Country music truly is good stuff. God and Heavenly Father are referenced frequently as is church attendance, family, and living life right. How many times are sex, drugs, dropping it low, and getting buck in here referenced? Never. (I intentionally left out drinking because admittedly, country music references it quite a lot, but quit being so self righteous and embrace it.) Please listen to this song and tell me again country music sucks.
5. Sweat bands. Like much of society you may associate sweat bands with the below homosexual aerobic instructors, high school athletes trying to look cool, or Avril Lavigne and her following of punk rockers who attempted to turn them into accessories. I feel bad for sweat bands, they've got a lot of stigmas behind them. They are not a fashion statement, they are not an accessory, they are just practical. As a student taking gymnastics, racquetball, zumba, and playing intramural basketball, the practically of sweat bands manifests itself everyday. Never again will my sweat drip down into my eyes, or fly off landing on the poor individual next to me. And thanks to sweat bands I no longer have to do the whole pull my shirt up to wipe the sweat number, flashing my rock hard abs, making all the girls super jealous and making them think I am a dirty pirate hooker just trying to show off, and making all the boys want to inappropriate relations.
6. Bagel guillotine. This thing cuts your bagels perfectly in half. You don't have to saw away at it which inevitably leads to one half of your bagel being too thin and burning up into the toaster to a crispy critter and the other half going through 3 rounds and still not being cooked. This will be the first item on my wedding registry list. Just a heads up, so if you see it on sale you can go ahead and buy it.
7. Gauchos. Okay fashionistas, why did everyone decide gauchos weren't in style anymore? I rather enjoyed wearing pants that were as comfy as sweats yet were considered dressy. I wore them ALL the time and people thought I was sophisticated and classy. I held onto them as long as possible and wore them well into high school, a solid 2 years after everyone else quit wearing them. After all my pairs "disappeared" in the wash, I had to revert back to sweats, which are much less praised in our society. Dubbing gauchos as unstylish is the most ungrateful things our society has done since deeming the Backstreet Boys bush league.
8. DI. Deseret Industries. Delightful Inspirations. Whatever you prefer to call it, it is an amazing place. There's no way around it. I go every single week and it never gets less awesome. I have found everything from a George Foreman, to a North Face Jacket for $10, to cat mugs, to banana chairs, and even NASCAR gear. DI has it all. While unpacking this semester I realized over half of the things I own are from DI. And that folks, is the way it should be.
9. Pegs. Pegs are the niftiest modes of transportation, even surpassing the Razor scooter. Wait, what, I don't have to sit on the handle bars and fall off, receiving a minor blow to the head, and nature's nose job? I can just stand there and not even contribute to our forward movement? I'm as conservative as you get but a free ride is still nice every once in a while. I just don't understand how these aren't still cool. Every time I pass a bike rack on campus I scan for a bike with pegs and I have yet to see a single bike with pegs. If I were rich the first thing I would do is go around and put pegs on every single bike around campus, and this campus would be a much better place because of it.
10. Gameboys. Gameboys totally fell by the wayside after the PSP and Nintendo DS and all that. It is really a sad thing because I spent a few solid days, maybe weeks, this summer playing some Red Version Pokemon on those bad boys and I just can't wrap my mind around why kids don't play those anymore. Is it because they don't generate their own light so when you played them on road trips you had to turn the overhead light on in the back seat and you would forget to turn the light off and then when you woke up to go to Disneyland the next morning the car battery was dead? That is honestly the only somewhat legitimate reason I can think of.
11. Blogging. I just spent forever writing this blog post instead of doing homework, and I don't even feel guilty about not doing my homework even though I have accomplished nothing and it is 2:19 in the afternoon. So if you ever want to feel productive without actually being productive, blog.
